Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize