no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
