let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
