A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
