I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
