Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize