I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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