hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize