john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As shirtless as possible
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
