I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
