He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
