I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am naked and annoyed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
