you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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