Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
