so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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