I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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