I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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