just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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