I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
