Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
