Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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