You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
