i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
