whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
