Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
