Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
