Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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