I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need a burrito and a hug.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
