Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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