We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
