My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
