Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
