New low: just hacked my moms facebook
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize