So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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