A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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