I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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