last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
