I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
