I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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