New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
