My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She bit a glass in half.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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