fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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