Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
