Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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