Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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