her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
