I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
