Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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