Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
