69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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