am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize