I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
