I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
