It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
