i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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