we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize