thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
