yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
