you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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