And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
