The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
