Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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