Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
