Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck appropriateness.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
