And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
