I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
