I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
