It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
be right there i have to get my cape
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize